Dear Diary

diary of sweet memories…

29-Jul-15

Filed under: diary — siphamandla at 4:53 pm on Wednesday, July 29, 2015
36
Pat!

you will usually hear people say that there are no favourites amongst their children.

i call that lie out,

parents do have their facourites.

most often you will find that there is on e of the children who is burdened with all the family problems.

sometimes even held back by the parents while others move on with their lives.

i have never been one to complain, but today i draw the line.

my mom and her favourite son (my little brohter) were instructing me to do something i did not want to do,

so when i told my little brother to stop telling me all that bullshit, she said i was insulting her…

can you imagine how i felt seeing a repeat of my life story!


my whole life me and my brother have had the same problem, when ever i did something wrong as a child i would get beaten,

and when he did they would just dismiss it and say that he is too young to understand.

sure like always i was given the responsibility to care for him as he started school,

i did not mind all that, its what i was supposed to have done anyway.


years gone by and still nothing changed, the first time my parents found a condom on my bed they freaked out

forbade me from having sex, at the time i was about 17 years old.

i showed them respect and never allowed myself to be caught or seen with a

girl by them.

all that was different with my little brother;

as soon as he could talk to a girl he started bringing them home with him and no one said a word.

he even changed girls weekly and no one commented.

sometimes everyone knew that he was having sex with a girl during day time while everyone was inside the house.

instead of them treating him like they did me, no one said a thing,

instead my father the one who was all up on my business about having sex is the one to congragulate him,

its is as if he has won a world title.

me on the otheer hand am always being watched to see what i will do wrong next.

in short you could say i am a male cindarella.

and there seem to be no happy ending at the end of my story.

but through all this i will do my best to keep going, and i belive that one day things will go my way.

one day i will have a life of my own without the constant guilt and weight of the family on my back.

sure i will always have them, but a house of my own

and some distance between me and them might make my life a little more less sufficating.



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